Is that ketchup in your top desk drawer?

I know the IT guy is wondering as he sits in my cube fixing my computer which was auto set to install updates and restart automatically at inopportune times like when i've been working on a spreadsheet all morning and haven't saved it but now realize i don't have administrator rights to tell my computer to restart later so it will do it now because it's 10:53 am and automatic updates happen when they want. Like schizophrenics in the subway. Can't control them. But yes that is ketchup in my top desk drawer. And I keep it there with all of the other important stuff like spare apartment keys because if I forget my keys and come back to my office I open the drawer and see the ketchup and get happy. In my bottom drawer is where I keep cereal. Don't get me wrong. I like cereal a lot. I sometimes stop and stare in the cereal aisle and wonder if today will be the day I break down and buy something naughty like cocoa puffs or continue on a boring but practical streak with shredded wheat. Or Cheerios. Not the honey nut. Just the plain ones. Which is a throw back to the fact that my mom never bought us the sugar cereal I lusted after. She also never bought chocolate syrup. I think I would have drank a lot of milk had she bought chocolate syrup. But she didn't and my teeth suck and I don't blame her, but I do think I need porecelain veneers. But back to cereal. I like it, but I don't love it like ketchup. I'm glad it's not my child because that would be a crappy thing to say. I like you, but not like your brother. And why does the IT guy think that's weird? Not the thing about the children, just the ketchup.